This is not self-denial, it is the false self that is denied. The mystery of perfection lies in annihilation - not in annihilation of the real self, but of the false Self, of the false conception which man has cherished in his heart and always has allowed to torture his life. Do we not see this with our friends and acquaintances? In those who attract us and whom we deeply love and admire there is only one quality which can really attract us: apart from our other interests in life it is man's personality alone which attracts us. It is not only that selflessness and the extent of that selflessness attract us, but what repels us in the life of others is nothing else than the grossness of their nafs - or one might call it the denseness and hardness of that spirit.